Day 26- Taking it in stride

I always thought I would be a mom who always had her "stuff" together. You know, someone who never looks frazzled or stressed and who looks like she is handling it all in stride. Boy was I wrong. Most days, I just feel like a hot mess. And add to that if I actually attempt to go out with E (not in the past month, but before) and she has a meltdown, well, you can just about see a cloud of stress around me. I know some moms who seem to be totally anxiety-free and seem to handle every situation with grace. How do they do it? I sincerely cannot fathom this. And, I also can't understand what it is about motherhood that is so stressful. Is it wrong to say everything? Don't get me wrong, it's the best job in the world. But, I think there are so many judgements on what a "good" mother is, and a lot of us enter into it holding ourselves to other people's standards.

I had a conversation with a good friend of mine last night who had two kids herself. She says she doesn't pay attention to what the books say or what other people say and just does what she feels her kids need in the moment. This is such good advice! I think that should be at the forefront of all those books that tell you how to be good parents. I believe that a lot of these books strip away our natural instincts as moms (and dads) and make us feel we have no clue how to do this. And yes, there are many days I believe that I should probably have been required to pass a test before becoming a parent. My friend also said kids know way more about themselves than we, or any of those books do. Sometimes, being a parent is about letting your child lead you. For example, E is a really picky eater and has not been into eating solids (unlike some of her friends who are up to three meals a day). I was getting very overwhelmed about this, and then I took a step back. Within a week, she started taking less formula in the morning, and wanting more solids. So, I went with it. Now, even though she still likes her bottle, she is doing better eating solids. And, it came completely from her, not forced by me.

Sometimes I wonder if any other mom or dad feels like a hot mess, completely overwhelmed in parenthood. I do get caught up in the stress of things, but amazingly, E's precious smile can bring me to the place where it really matters. It's like she knows when I am completely overwhelmed about something, she will look at me and smile or laugh. Maybe she does know more than I think.