I'd like to talk about friendship today. Hubby and I were talking about it a little tonight at dinner. I think friendship is a word with many different meanings or levels, and all the people you call your friends fall into one of those levels. And, sometimes, you can have a friend start out in one level and then migrate to another, whether on purpose or not. So, here are the levels I understand in terms of friendship: acquaintance level, good friend level, best friend level.
Acquaintance level is, for me, the most expansive level I have. I believe myself to be a people person, and so I can have great conversations with many people. But I would never expect anything more from people in this level than an occasional phone call or Facebook message, just to let me know we are still in touch. This is why I have the most people in this group because truthfully, it's the easiest to keep up.
Good friend level is not as populated for me, but numbers don't matter. Good friends call you often, email you, message or Facebook you and try to keep up with your life on a frequent basis. They know what is going on in your life, and you in theirs. They do favors for you when you ask, and sometimes when you don't. Good friends are great to have, and I am lucky to have the ones I do.
Best friend level is the least inhabited level of the three, but honestly it's something that screams quality over quantity. A best friend can go weeks without talking to you and still know what is going on in your life. She knows you well, sometimes better than you know yourself, and vice versa. She's been there for your greatest, saddest, and most humiliating moments, and sticks around through it all. Life is so fleeting, and it's because of this that I believe this group has the least people. It's difficult to keep any relationship going over many years as you and the other change as people, change locales, etc.
So why this discussion and outline of friendship? Because I have noticed recently how some friends of mine have switched categories, going from either good or best friend down to acquaintance. It's sad but the truth is, it was their choice. Maybe I expect too much from my good or best friends, but when someone who you consider a good friend is going through a tough time and you make no attempt to call or even email that person, you have chosen, whether on purpose or not, to move yourself to another category. And that's fine, because I have learned through this ordeal that the quality of my TRUE good and best friends outweighs any quantity, and someday they will realize they are missing out on a good friendship: mine.
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