Day 13- Rounded Binary form, ABA

So, today was odd. The title of my blog today describes a form of music called Rounded Binary (and I pray this is correct, or shame me for having a Masters in Music!) where the beginning and the ending are basically the same (hence the two "A's") and the middle is different (B). This is the only way I can describe my day today. The A's represent how I felt when I woke up and how I feel now, and the B represents how I felt this afternoon.

I woke up feeling exhausted, agitated, and uncomfortable (back and hip pain) and that's how I feel now. But, the middle of my day was great. I meditated for ten minutes and went grocery shopping with E and my mom. She pushed E in the cart and I wheeled myself around in the wheel chair. I was actually proud of myself, I feel like I did great AND I got an amazing arm workout at the same time. Score! I rewarded myself with a Friendly's Sundae from the grocery freezer. Yum.

So, I downloaded the Kindle app for my iPhone which basically allows my phone to act like a mini Kindle. I bought a book today on meditation and am already intrigued. It's the Meditation for Idiots book which I figured would have clear-cut, down to earth advice and instructions. Hopefully it will be helpful.

So, let's talk about the whole cry-it-out method (maybe better known as the Ferber method). John and I both agree that this is the best way to teach Emma how to get herself to sleep. But that doesn't make it any easier to sit and listen to her crying, sometimes screaming, without feeling like I am seriously emotionally scarring her. We go in every ten minutes or so, rub her back and tell her good night, until she eventually calms down. Why does it seem like I have such a harder time than hubby? Is it purely a man/woman thing? Am I dealing with it emotionally while hubby is dealing with it practically? Maybe I need to think about it in a more practical manner, but I'm not sure that as a woman and a mother I am wired to think that way. If she wakes up tomorrow not hating me, that will be a good thing.

So, there explains my rounded binary day, I woke up exhausted (not sleeping well because alas, as I get bigger I get more uncomfortable every day) and agitated, had a great afternoon, and am ending the day exhausted and agitated again. It would be great if it could be the other way around, but tomorrow is a new day.