We went to the Accepted Students' Day for my sister at Framingham State College. First of all, what a beautiful campus, and a beautiful school. All of the faculty and students we spoke with were beyond courteous and beyond helpful. I am psyched for my sister; and yes, a bit jealous! I remember how fun college was.
My eye-opening experience happened because I had to be in the wheel chair all day, and so to everyone who doesn't know my story, I was "that handicapped woman". I thought it wouldn't bother me so much, but it did, and now I would like to say that maybe I can empathize a little with people who spend their lives being disabled. Let me just say, people treat you differently. They look at you differently; looking at you and giving you a half smile, half "poor you" glance. Or, they act in the exact opposite way and don't look at you at all, like if they pretend you don't exist, you won't. They also do not get out of the way for wheel chairs, like YOU are inconveniencing them. So frustrating.
I know I cannot say that I completely know what it is like to be disabled, because thankfully, I don't. But, I do know that now I have a much better understanding of how not to treat people with physical disabilities. Believe me, our society is not made for handicapped people. I noticed something, and maybe this is a bit over dramatic, but most of the buildings we went in today did not have handicapped entrances at the front, they were all in the back. It kind of felt a bit demoralizing, like just because I was in a wheelchair, I didn't deserve to enter in the front with everyone else. Maybe that thinking is a bit overkill, but it makes you wonder, doesn't it? I spent the entire day feeling like an outcast, like the ugly duckling. I wonder, is this how the disabled feel? I can't imagine having a physical handicap (not just something temporary, like me) and having to make my way through this world. I have a whole new level of respect for people with a physical disability that makes them vulnerable to this "non-handicapped" society in which we live.
Speaking of being vulnerable, I think that is how I have felt over the past few days. I am basically at the mercy of everyone around me. If I am feeding E in her high chair and she finishes, I have to ask someone to move her to the next "activity". When she wakes up from her nap, I can go in and say hi, but I must have someone else there to lift her out of her crib. Why? Because I am vulnerable to what is going on in my body. I am not in control of things, and any wrong movement could mean trouble. I hate being vulnerable, I am very much a type A person. I am in control of things 24/7, and that's the way I like it. My nose was knocked a little out of joint in a good way when E was born, and I learned how little control I had over certain things. But can you imagine not being in control over what is happening in your own body? I think most people can say that they feel they have at least that type of control most of the time. I could go on and on, but I won't. I think you get the point.
Now, on with my positive for the day:
1) I am super excited for my sister, and so proud that she is making this next, huge step.
2) I remembered today how lucky I was to go to college and to have that great college experience everyone talks about.
3) My sister and my mother pushed me around today, up huge hills, and didn't complain one bit.
4) Hubby will be home tonight. Hope he had a good day fishing
5) E was a good girl today for my aunt.
6) Speaking of my aunt, what a saint. She stayed here last night and stayed all day with E. Thank you!
7) It's a beautiful day...a bit cold, but I'll take it over rain and snow.
In closing today, I ask that next time you see someone in a wheel chair, give them a heart felt smile or "hello"...this will make their day. They want to be treated like the human beings they are, not as outcasts.
you a type A personality nooooo??!!
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